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the smelly old man

i came upon a man sitting on the beach

and as i walked by i did beseech

“sir, please get off of your smelly old ass

and go have your self a shower or bath”

i saw him look up at me and think

he said “you’re right, i probably stink”

“but its not my fault, its all this fresh air

and its at least been a year since i’ve washed my hair”

“are you homeless, sir? did you fall on hard times?”

“any why do you insist on speaking in rhymes?’

to this he ignored me and then simply said “what?’

i sat and i stared and i scratched my butt

“how did you get yourself into such a mess?’

he took a deep breath and began to confess

“i’m not homeless or poor or some drunken fool”

then he suddenly went crosseyed and started to drool

he uncrossed his eyes and looked up with a grin

said “since when’s being smelly become such a sin?”

i said “sir, you’re right! what a gift you just gave!”

and i vowed then and there “i’ll never again bathe!”

i planted my tush next to him in the sand

and thus i became the smelly old man


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