I just wanted to clear up a few things. It’s one of those days when my mind is running a million miles an hour and so I want to write them down.
Sometimes I have some ideas, like right now. My first reaction to those are ideas are usually to write these ideas down. Sometimes I spend additional time muling over the ideas and revising them before I “blog” them. Other times I just push the “post” button and release my words into the world wide web without so much of single read through. (I’m guessing the former will be the case this time.)
Many times I am scared what people will think or say about my ideas. Thankfully, I usually hear very little of either (it turns out I can’t read a reader’s thoughts from my own computer screen as disappointing as that is.)
I once posted a blog that talked about how I was only going to write fiction and poetry and what not for awhile. I wanted to avoid my silly philosophizing, if you can even call it that. Soon after, I was back to doing the same, but slightly differently of course.
What I’m trying to say is that these ideas I spit out for you all to read – if you choose to do so – are simply those. Ideas.
In the beginning, philosophy was ridiculously flawed.
The first philosophizers spoke little reason.
It was their way of thinking that got philosophy to where it is today (wherever the hell that is).
Philosophers build on each other’s ideas in order to expand their own. It is not the idea itself that is important, it is how a person reached the idea.
Each and every blog that I have posted have countless flaws. In fact, I now completely disagree with a lot of what is in them.
I would not be where I am at now without writing those things down. Not to say that I am at some kind of perfect mental state, but I am certainly in a better state than I was even just a month ago. And it wasn’t the ideas themselves that I attribute to that.
It was how I reached the ideas and the thought process behind them.
I remember the first song I wrote. I was super stoked about it, just because it was the first song I wrote. A week later, I realized that the song was complete trash and should never have made it out of my bedroom for others to hear.
As painful as it would be to sit down and listen to that song, I don’t regret one bit of it. And I don’t regret any other failed attempt at writing a song. Because it always gets me to the next song.
I think this applies to life in general (if that’s even a real thing, the in general part). Each action you take builds upon the next action. Even if the action is filled with flaws, the action in the way that it is taken, gets you to the next action, which, if better makes the pervious action a worthwhile action. And the same goes for a bad action or a bad thought.
One decision to gossip may equal twenty actions of gossip and the more I gossip, the more my mind tells me that gossiping is not a bad thing to do.
I may have made a ton of bad songwriting decisions when I wrote my first song. but without those bad decisions I never would have written a song.
This is a learn-as-you-go world. You learn how to live life as you’re living life. Therefore, mistakes are okay. If you’re not making mistakes, then you should certainly make some changes.
These blogs are not me. I look back on many of them and cringe.
I wouldn’t change a thing about them.
If you read these consistently, aside from knowing that I am confused as to why you are reading some arrogant college kid’s crazy ramblings, I want you to know that they are not me. But I will continue to write them, not for you, but for me. I would stop publishing them, but having them out for other people to read makes me think harder about them.
Without these blogs, I would not have an idea for my first novel, one that will probably be a failure just like my first song, but it will be necessary if I ever somehow end up writing a decent one.
In conclusion, I will soon disagree with everything I just wrote. And I’m fine if you disagree right now.