Sometimes I get frustrated with all the games of trying to find a date. Now days for a guy in college you have to find the perfect natural moment to start a conversation with a girl. Then you have be careful about not coming on too strong. If you’re sly enough to actually get her number, you can’t just call her and ask her on a date. You have to vaguely text her, and figure out a stealth way to “hang out.” I’m terrible at this process. I’m someone who has a very… well… odd, straightforward, sarcastic, but I like to think fun-loving way of communicating. The problem is you can convey about as much tone in a text message as Charlie Scheen’s publicist can convey that he isn’t a total weirdsmobile. But if I can convey tone, I can usually hit it off with the girls who are up my romantic-compatibility ally.
This is another thing I don’t understand about dating today. It’s like it’s some huge insult if the person isn’t genuinely attracted to you and your personality. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you as a human being, it just means you’re not compatible for that kind of relationship. Sometimes our generation needs to not be sensitive for the wrong, selfish, cowardice reasons, and be more honest for the right, selfless, brave ones. Overall I think we’re just poor communicators. These have often been my experiences at least, and I’ve been the one who’s been the poor communicator at times. But I’ve been trying not to be. And I think if we didn’t have to be so coy about dating, the process would go a lot faster and be much less painful. I think if two relationally-functional people met each other that were a good match, it would go more like this:
A guy goes to get a sandwich from his buddy at a campus coffee stand.
He tells him he thinks a girl sitting on her computer drinking coffee is cute.
Girl later walks up to get a muffin or something and the guys says, “hey by the way my friend over their thinks your pretty cute (guy points to Matt sitting a ways from the coffee stand). “AIN’T THAT RIGHT MATT?”
“You think this girl is cute!”
“Oh… Yeah definitely. Tell her she can have my phone number if she wants it.”
(the girl is just standing at the counter hearing them shout all this stuff)
“Do you want his number?”
“Uh… yeah I guess I do.” she says.
“Great. YO MATT! SHE WANTS YOUR NUMBER!”
“Really? Well that’s awesome. I want her number too…”
(he starts walking up to the counter)
“Hi, I’m Matt nice to meet you.”
“Alexandra.” (shaking hands)
“Just… Alexandra… no Alex, or Lexie, or… uh… Dra?”
“I love that. My mother always calls me Matthew. You can call me Matthew if you prefer it.”
“She’s right. Matthew is better.”
“Yeah… my mom friggin rocks.”
“Are you a momma’s boy?”
“I love that. I’m a huge daddy’s girl.”
“Would your dad want to kick my ass right now trying to get you to go on a date with me?”
“Are you trying to sleep with me?”
“If we get married… yeah.”
“Then no, I think he’d be okay with that.”
“He’d be okay with Bowling, crappy bowling alley pizza, followed by stargazing? He’d be okay with it if I picked you up Friday at 7?”
“Yes… and I’d be okay with it too by the way. Are you trying to date my dad or me?”
“Well I don’t think your dad is my type…”
“So you’re trying to date me?”
“I’m trying to go on a date with you… and see where things go from there.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Sweet– I’ll pick you up at–”
“And just so you know… when it comes to bowling. I’m way better than you.” She said suddenly serious.
“That’d probably be true if I wasn’t the best bowler in the world ever.”
“Yeah. Pick me up at 7. I’d love to prove you wrong.”