The Pamphlet – By: mOUNTbRENDON

This is one of my writing assignments for my Nonfiction class. The prompt was:

Present an intriguing, eccentric person as an embodiment of common human traits, such as tendencies toward obsession, paranoia, megalomania, etc.

The Pamphlet

“Follow me,” is what I tell everyone I meet. “I know the way to your salvation.”

Yeah, I get flack for what I say and do. I get a lot of flack, but so did the founding fathers, Martin Luther King, Jesus, and even Bob Dylan. But you don’t see anyone criticizing any of them now days. I’m looking toward the future, and not just my future, your future too.

“Take this pamphlet,” I tell people. “It has all the answers you need. The answers to all your pain and suffering and doubts and insecurities are all in there. Just read it and be cured.”

People tell me that I can’t be serious. “You can’t really believe in all of this,” they say. But I believe in every word I say. And I care about it too. I care about it just like I care about you.

I ask people on the street, “Do you wonder how you can feel confident and secure about your life? I can guarantee that you can feel and be secure if you listen and believe. That’s all it takes. Just listen to what I have to say and believe it with all your being.”

“Just listen to this song,” I’ve been trying to say. “It’s the only song you’ll ever need, the only song on the radio. Watch this movie and read this magazine. And they all come with a free pamphlet.”

You know how it is though, when you take a stand for something you truly believe in. People will cast you out, they’ll yell at you, shut the door in your face; criticize everything you stand for, every fiber of your being. But you can’t let that stop you when you’re dealing with something bigger than yourself.

If you listen and believe though, you won’t have to worry about it as much as me. Step one is “Listen to the experts.” I can recite the pamphlet by heart.  We’re the experts for a reason. We can be trusted and that’s why we have the power and expertise that we do.

Step two is, “Simplify.” Life is only hard if you make it hard and that means life is only easy if you make it easy. Listen to people like me and we’ll make your life as simple as possible.

Step three is the most important. “Believe.” If you believe with everything you have then you will have the ability to live a life you never thought possible. Believe, believe, believe.

Step four, “Beware of false prophets.” This is the toughest one, but again only if you make it tough.

“What is a false prophet” people ask me. A false prophet will tell you lies. They are built around deception and complication. That’s the biggest way to notice them. Yeah, I’ve been called a false prophet before, but that was by a false prophet, so it didn’t bother me much.

I believe in these steps more than I believe in my own existence and for me not to sacrifice the way I sacrifice and to share this with as many people as I possibly can, it would be cheating not only myself, but you and everyone around me. This what I live for and what I care most about, my calling if you will.